Farley's Castle

Recently I have been reading many restaurant reviews. I usually read them after I attend a new establishment. However, lately I’ve been reading them for random places. Most of the reviews for these places are four stars or above, with many positive comments. But lately I have been reading reviews to less “hospitable” restaurants or at least that’s what the reviews suggest. I’m not talking about dumps and dives or even your local eateries. I’m talking about your basic chain restaurants such as Chili’s, Applebee’s or even The Olive Garden. It always amazes me some of the people that come to review these places. For instance one Applebee’s reviews had three out of five stars and several nasty reviews. Most of the reviews start with, “now I’m not one to complain” or “I rarely do this”. I just want to respond with, “listen here Helen the fact that you wrote a 2 paragraph essay on why not to attend a local Applebee’s shows me that this clearly isn’t your first time”. Also stop going to Applebee’s every week, it isn’t a TGI Friday’s for crying out loud.

I thought a fun challenge would be for everyone to look at their quarantine search history. I know what some of you are thinking, “ew gross”. To these people I say it’s called using the clear history button. So please join in and share your search history. Below is a few screen shots of mine. When I sent them to a couple people they said, “the FBI probably can’t tell if you’re a lunatic or an idiot.” Well I think this is just how my mind works; all over the place! Share on!

P.S. Try to keep it PG rated! Just kidding, share on!

I have always been a supporter of Facebook. In face, I refuse to get a Twitter or Instagram because I believe in sticking to my roots! However, after trying to create an event I realized why people do not use “the book” anymore. Please review the picture below and look closely to the policy in red.

As you can see an event can only be two years in advance. I need to book this event before other people try to. It will be the party of a lifetime! Anyhow, please keep this date open.

This isolation due to this Covid-19 pandemic has really been messing with my head. I have found myself researching random ideas and facts. I found out in order to sell or donate your sperm you must pass a series of intense tests and qualifications. For example, you must be at least 5’ 10”. This really upset me because for someone like myself who is vertically challenged, I found this to be a clear case of heightism. Due to my upset nature I decided to call Thomas to discuss my concerns. I said to Thomas, “can you believe this, they won’t take my sperm because I’m not five foot ten.” Thomas responded, “Ha-ha you have to be five foot ten? That sucks, sorry man.” But then I kept reading the qualifications. I said to Thomas, “Hey wait you can’t donate either… it says here sexual partners must be exclusively female.” The phone went silent after that. That sure showed him to be a heightist!

P.S. I have nothing against people that have relations with the same sex. This was merely for entertainment and humor purposes. If I offended you please allow me to fix that by having you not read my blog. Stay safe everyone!

When I was younger, my father used to sing a song to my siblings and I when we ran out of toilet paper. The song he sang went, “Stranded. Stranded on the toilet bowl. What do you do when you’re stranded and can’t reach the roll.” This song always made me laugh even though I was literally “stranded”. Now when I was using the restroom the other day, before this Covid-19 pandemic, someone I the next stall asked me for toilet paper. Out of habit I began to sing this song. As I was about to hand this gentleman the extra roll of toilet paper he made a snide remark. So to prove a point I left. Now this guy really was stranded.

Lately I have noticed my workout plan and dieting have completely gone out the window. For those of you who are in the same boat I wanted to share some beneficial information I have learned. Lately I have started to do simple sit-ups, push-ups and burpees during commercials. I tell you I feel great! Not only am I working out but I have also watched so many seasons of my favorite shows on Netflix. Oh and the movies on Amazon Prime have been great!

Today marks a very sad day in this country. A great musician and American legend has passed away. Joe Diffie has been one of the biggest influences in country music. He truly showed what a “pick up man” is. Thoughts and prayers are with you Mr. Diffie. You have now left this Earth, the third rock from the Sun. Yee Yee!

Farley’s Castle will open up the doors for drop off. Hash tag stay alive the end will come. We’re opening back up for koozies and bumper stickers.

“Sometimes I am two people. Johnny is the nice one. Cash causes all the trouble. They fight.” – Johnny Cash

Happy birthday to the Man in Black! John R. Cash was born on February 26, 1932. Most people don’t know that Johnny Cash’s real name was in fact J.R. Cash. When he entered the U.S. Air Force he was not permitted to use the initials so he changed it to John.

Lately I have seen many people wearing the protective ear loop disposable masks (aka surgical masks) out in public. I know it is flu season but I feel more people have been wearing these masks than normal. This could also be due to the outbreak of the Coronavirus. Either way I keep wondering if the person is contagious or cautious. I want to know if I am at risk or if they are. To combat this thought I have decided to go about this in two ways. The first way is every time someone is wearing a mask I will couch and/or sneeze around them. I will wait and see what their reaction is. If they freak out or move quickly I will know they are being cautious. If they stand there and look at me then I know I am the one at risk. Either way it will be a good experiment. Oh there is a third idea I have in mind. I will be the one to wear a surgical mask and walk next to someone. Then just as I’m about to sneeze I will remove the mask. After the sneeze I will look at them and simply go, “oh no” and quickly walk away. I believe this will be the reaction I am looking for.